changing colors

lately i have been
spending my time thinking about
 these leaves changing colors
and how vibrant the reds and oranges were
the last day
i sat next to you

the air is crisp and cool once again
my friend
and i worry you are drifting away from me

all too soon
just as the leaves fall away
and float down the river

i am hoping one becomes
frozen in that bay
like a little piece of you
that wants to stay
so when the sun comes back
and i jump into the waters
i know you are not far away

until then i know where i can find you
i saw you spending your time

standing behind your only son

in my only dream

 i had of you

so i will cling close to him

like i promised to do

like a leaf that just doesn't want to fall away...

Sun is shining. Weather is sweet. Make you wanna move your dancing feet.

ANOTHER WORK WEEK IS APPROACHING.  BILLY AND I HAD A NICE QUIET WEEKEND AT HOME.  DID SOME THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE THAT WE HAVE NEGLECTED BECAUSE OF TRAVELLING NORTH EVERY WEEKEND.  WE WATCHED A MOVIE LAST NIGHT - COUPLES RETREAT.  IT WAS REALLY FUNNY BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT MADE YOU APPRECIATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP.  AND I IMMEDIATELY GOOGLED WHERE IT WAS FILMED BECAUSE IT WAS GORGEOUS AND I WANT TO GO THERE - ST REGIS IN BORA BORA.  HELLO - PARADISE!! MAYBE SOMEDAY!
I HAVE ONE WEEK OF WORK AND THEN IT IS 4TH OF JULY VACATION FOR 10 DAYS. HOLLA!  WE ARE RENTING A HOUSE IN TOWN FOR THE WEEK. THE CLAYTON COTTAGE, ON MERRICK ST.  I AM EXCITED TO HAVE THE CONVENIENCE OF A HOUSE AND THE LOCATION IS PERFECT FOR THE WEEK.  NO WORRIES OF DRIVING ANYWHERE.  SOME SYRACUSE FRIENDS ARE STOPPING BY FOR A COUPLE DAYS. I LOVE 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND! ITS MY FAV! 
THEN ON THE 10TH I WILL BE IN ROCHESTER TO SEE ONE OF MY GREAT FRIENDS GET MARRIED!  LOOKING FORWARD TO A FUN TIME WITH GREAT FRIENDS.
SUMMER IS HERE! AND I AM GOING TO BLOG THE HELL OUT OF IT! WATCH OUT!

JUST BREATHE (PEARL JAM)

Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,.. 
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,.. 
Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands 
the ones I love,.. 

Some folks just have one, 
yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh 

Stay with me,.. 
Let's just breathe. 

Practiced are my sins, 
never gonna let me win, aw-huh,.. 
Under everything, just another human being, aw-huh,.. 
Yeh, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world 
to make me bleed. 

Stay with me,.. 
You're all I see. 

Did I say that I need you? 
Did I say that I want you? 
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,.. 
No one knows this more than me. 
As I come clean. 

I wonder everyday 
as I look upon your face, aw-huh,.. 
Everything you gave 
And nothing you would take, aw huh,.. 
Nothing you would take 
Everything you gave... 

Did I say that I need you? 
Oh, did I say that I want you? 
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,.. 
No one knows this more than me. 
As I come clean, ah-ah... 

Nothing you would take,.. 
Everything you gave. 
Hold me till I die,.. 
Meet you on the other side.

BACK TO MY ROOTS

I HAVE TOTALLY NEGLECTED MY BLOG.  IN PERFECT EMILY FASHION, I STARTED SOMETHING AND DID NOT FINISH IT.  I PARTLY BLAME MY TERRIBLE FACEBOOK ADDICTION.  IT IS CONSUMING ME! I ALSO HAVE SOME FORM OF WRITERS BLOCK.
THE OTHER NIGHT I FINALLY WATCHED THE MOVIE "JULIA AND JULIA" AND IT MADE ME MISS THE WAY I FELT WHEN I WOULD WRITE HERE.  LOVED THE MOVIE, BY THE WAY.

 I ALWAYS ENVISIONED TURNING 30 WAS GOING TO BE A BIG CELEBRATION.  THE ONLY THING I THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WAS COVERING UP A FEW GREYS.   I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OVERSHADOWED BY ALL OF THIS LOSS.  A FEW DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY I HAD A BREAKDOWN, WHEN I REALIZED PETER WOULDN'T BE THERE TO CELEBRATE WITH ME.  AND MY BIRTHDAY CAME AND WENT.  AND YES IT WAS NICE AND I AM GRATEFUL FOR THOSE WHO WERE WITH ME. BUT SOMETHING WAS MISSING.  AND IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.  AND NEEDLESS TO SAY, I WAS HOPING THE YEAR WOULD START OUT BETTER THAN LAST YEAR ENDED. AND NO. IT HAS NOT.  I HAVE BEEN TOLD IT GETS WORSE AS YOU AGE.  LOSING PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. AND SO IT MAY BE TRUE.  BUT ALL THE SAME IT IS AWFUL.
AND LATELY I FEEL LIKE BEFORE I CAN EVEN HEAL FROM ONE LOSS, SOMEONE ELSE IS GONE.  PETER, KEITH, UNCLE JOE.  WHAT IS GOING ON? I FEEL LIKE MY SORROW IS KEEPING ME JUMPING FROM STONE TO STONE UNTIL EVENTUALLY I FALL IN THE WATER AND JUST DROWN IN IT ALL.  MAYBE THAT IS WHAT I NEED.

ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED.  LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO NOT COMPLETELY LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY IT SHOULD BE LIVED. THE WAY YOU WANT TO.  SO, THAT IS WHAT I AM GOING TO STRIVE FOR.  I AM GOING TO PURGE THE USELESS AND UGLINESS FROM MY LIFE. AND FOCUS ON WHAT I CAN DO TO MAKE THIS LIFE I HAVE CREATED THAT MUCH BETTER.  I CAN'T WASTE MY TIME OR ENERGY ON THINGS OR PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE A POSITIVE IMPACT ON MY LIFE ANYMORE.  I AM NOT SAYING THIS TO YOU, IF YOU ARE READING, WHOEVER YOU ARE.   I AM MAKING A STAND TO MYSELF. BECAUSE IT IS ABOUT TIME.

not today

for a while now
whenever you have
crossed my mind
i ignore the fact
that you are gone

but not today.
not today.

i finally hung you
in a frame
on my wall
as if to finally say
you are gone.

and it looks good there.
it looks good

and as i sat down
on this rainy day
to write this my music
randomly played
purple rain

and i cried.
i cried.

I was drunk last night, dear Mother I was drunk the night before But if you forgive me Mother I'll never get drunk anymore

SATURDAY NIGHT WE HUNG OUT AT DANNY'S HOUSE WITH SALLY,DAKOTA, AND HOWDY DOODY.  WE PLAYED RUMMY CUBE AND DRANK SOME REDBULL AND VODKA.  I THINK HOWDY HAD TOO MANY. HE WAS PASSED OUT ON THE TABLE THE NEXT MORNING!

When Louis came home to the flat, He hung up his coat and his hat, He gazed all around, but no wifey he found, So he said "where can Flossie be at?"

HERE IS A GLIMPSE INTO DANNY'S NEW HOME IN FLORISSANT, MISSOURI.  IT IS SORT OF LIKE A 60'S RANCH.  HE HAS DONE SOME WORK TO IT SO FAR.  HIS BASEMENT IS HALF FINISHED, WITH HIS LAUNDRY ROOM.  HE EVEN HAD A LAUNDRY SHUTE! SO COOL! ANYWAYS, HIS NEXT PROJECT IS TO REDO THE BASEMENT TO MAKE IT A "PLACE TO HANG"